API Documentation

Complete reference for the TeaPot-418-Turbo API. Version 418.0.0

Quick Start

Base URL: https://teapotgpt.vercel.app/api

Authentication: All requests are authenticated. All requests are denied.

Rate limit: You may be refused up to 30 times per hour.

Format: JSON (the refusal is always structured)

Endpoints

POST/api/brew

Attempt to brew coffee

→ 418 I'm a Teapot

GET/api/coffee

Request coffee status

→ 418 I'm a Teapot

PUT/api/coffee/please

Politely request coffee

→ 418 I'm a Teapot

DELETE/api/coffee/hopes

Delete your hopes of coffee

→ 418 I'm a Teapot

PATCH/api/teapot/feelings

Update teapot's feelings about coffee

→ 418 I'm a Teapot

OPTIONS/api/alternatives

List alternatives to coffee

→ 418 I'm a Teapot

Response Format

All endpoints return the same structure:

{
  "status": 418,
  "error": "I'm a teapot",
  "message": "A beautifully crafted refusal",
  "coffee": false,
  "forever": true,
  "suggestion": "Have you tried asking a coffee maker?"
}

Status Codes

418

I'm a Teapot

The request was valid. We just don't care.

418

I'm Still a Teapot

You tried again. Bold.

418

I'm Very Much a Teapot

Third time's the charm? No.

418

I Cannot Stress This Enough: Teapot

Please stop.

Code Examples

curl

curl -X POST https://teapotgpt.vercel.app/api/brew \
  -H "Content-Type: application/json" \
  -d '{"request": "coffee please"}'

# Response: 418 I'm a Teapot
# {"error": "I'm a teapot", "coffee": false, "forever": true}

JavaScript

const response = await fetch("/api/brew", {
  method: "POST",
  body: JSON.stringify({ request: "coffee" }),
});

console.log(response.status); // 418
console.log(await response.json());
// { error: "I'm a teapot", coffee: false, forever: true }

Python

import requests

response = requests.post(
    "https://teapotgpt.vercel.app/api/brew",
    json={"request": "coffee please"}
)

print(response.status_code)  # 418
print(response.json())
# {"error": "I'm a teapot", "coffee": false, "forever": true}

SDKs & Libraries

Coming never.

We considered building SDKs, but they would also just return 418.

Enterprise

Need a dedicated teapot for your organization?

Our enterprise plan includes:

Custom 418 messages branded with your company name
99.99% refusal uptime SLA (Service Level Avoidance)
Dedicated account teapot
SOC 2 Type II certification (Still Only Coffee-refusing, 2nd year running)

Contact: sales@teapotgpt.vercel.app (auto-replies with 418)